More Rain

Everyone how knows me, knows I work in a school.  I have had teachers come up to me, asking what's wrong today.  They know I having a bad day and understand.  Today I had two teenagers look at me and say," you look sad today".  I also had a few teenagers give me a smile like they know something is wrong.    That in it's self breaks my heart, letting them see me like that.  I don't like calling my middle schoolers kids.  I know they are, but I thing of them as young adults cause they are so smart.  We need to give them more credit then we do. 

If you need me I will be there.

When Jenni died I was told by so many people that if you need anything just call.  About a month ago I realy needed to talk to someone.  I called a friend and no answer.  I called someone else a few days later and they cut me short.  Please don't say it if you don't mean it.  Cander will go a long way.  If you don't know how to talk to someone about death let them know or just listen.  Some times we just need to talk.  We do know we are rambling but it dose help.  We know we are not the most fun to be a round.  We do want to get back to our old/new self.

Rain

The song about rainly days and Mondays always get me down are so true.  After spending the weekend  alone for the most part, and the rain on sunday with nothing to do.  Yes depressed on a rainly Monday. 

A Numb Heart

  It has been one year and eight months since Jenni's death, and my heart is still numb.  Each day is an event to get out of bed.  Their days I get home from work and I can't remember what happened that morning or the day before, and I don't care.  Jenni died of a drug overdose.  Every time I take a pill of any kind I think of that day.  I see someone or hear someone talk about taking some type on meds I think of that day. 
  People tell me I need to get out and start dating and I agree.  I have been given phone numbers by girls but, I think what's the use they might die.  What do you do?  I know everyone will die some time and I know this sounds stupid, cause it dose to me.  But that's how I fill.